Should I let God choose a man for me?
Nickname/Alias: Danielle
Subject: Should I leave it totally to God to choose a man for my life?
Message: Hi, I'm 17 and maybe I'm too young to think about this but it is something that has been on my mind a lot. I'm sure I wanna get married to a Christian guy because I can't imagine a life where, for example, I'm preaching and he doesn't come to church; or I'm praying but he's sleeping. But sometimes I think that it's gonna be hard to find a Christian guy and my mom always says that I shouldn't look for only Christian boys so that confuses me. Should I like "date" a non-Christian boy or just let God bring to my life the right boy? It's kinda hard to make a decision because society makes me think "maybe I'm going too far and I should think realistically and do the things my friends do." It's hard to wait when everyone around me is doing a really different thing.
Response:
God has a divine plan for everyone. When he created the heavens and the earth. he created mankind on the earth. He told mankind, Adam and Eve, to be fruitful and multiply (Gen 1.28). God wants men and women to join together in marriage and have children. So even though you are only 17, it is understandable that you are thinking about your future husband, children, and family. God will certainly guide you on your path of finding the right Christian man to date but you have to trust that His way is the best way.
What is God's way? He wants you to date a Christian.
You might think finding a Christian is hard, especially when society makes use think we are being unrealistic to ask for a Christian person to spend the rest of our lives with. But remember that Satan lives on earth (Isaiah 14.12) and he tries to ruin everything that God has created to be good. So he will make you believe it's easier to date anyone, not just a Christian, or that you are different for looking only for a Christian. But the Bible says not to be yolked or joined together with an unbeliever (2 Corinthians 6.14). The reason for this is because a non-believer can distract you from the Word of God. As you mentioned, you can't imagine a life of you preaching and he isn't in church or you praying and he is sleeping. Even worse, he might convince you not to go to church and to stop praying. God would be very sad to see a non-Christian distract you from loving Him.
Although it seems like there are many non-Christians in the world, there are more Christians than you think. You are only looking at your area, in your city, in your state. When you go to college, you might move to another state and meet many other Christians. Or you might go to a college in your hometown and meet a Christian who is from another part of the county. Maybe you'll begin working at a store nearby and your coworker happens to be Christian. Never be afraid to share your faith with others. That way, other Christians will know that you are also a Christian. And at the moment when you least expect it, God will send someone your way.
I understand it is hard to wait on God's timing, especially when your friends are finding boys to date that are not Christian. But God's plan is always the BEST plan. If you had option A (date a non-Christian) or B (date a Christian that God wants for you but it may take longer than you think), you can choose either one. If you choose A, you are making a decision on your own without God's guidance. You might find someone but he probably won't be as great as you expected. And that is the best you can do on your own. If you choose option B and follow God's plan, it will the BEST relationship for you because it is a relationship that is blessed by God. And that's the most important thing that you want.
I encourage you to pray that God will lead the right person to you and that you won't give up on God's holy plan for your relationship despite what your family, friends, or society tells you. All you have to do is ask God for His guidance, continue to study His word to learn how He wants you to live, and be patient while He works out His plan in your life.
