Should I Stay With My Boyfriend?
Message: I’ve been dating my boyfriend for a year and a half, and for some reason I’m constantly upset at him. He is not good with his words or actions in showing me he cares about me. And tbh I think I rely on that kind of stuff. And part of me feels like he cares about me still. But the other part of me feels like he doesn’t want a girlfriend anymore. And I ask all his friends about it and they say that’s just who he is. And now I can’t tell if I’m happy anymore. But I don’t wanna lose my first love.. I just need help.
Response: First loves are wonderful in so many ways. The newness makes everything feel exciting and special and unfortunately something that often comes along with that is the newness of heartbreak. It sounds like you're no longer happy in the relationship you have with your boyfriend and I'm so sorry to hear the distress this is causing you.
Whether this boy is who you are meant to be with, or if God has someone else in store for you, now is a good time to focus on developing behaviors that can help facilitate a healthy relationship.
1. Put God first. When both people are invested in having a God-centered relationship, the closer you both draw to Him, the closer you draw to each other.
2. Invest in yourself. Only you are in charge of your happiness so you must take time to do the things that matter to you. Become the best version of yourself because you are God's only shot at you.
3. Communicate/be honest with each other. For a couple to truly thrive it’s important to be open. Neither of you read minds, so if you are concerned about how he treats you or if he still wants to be with you, you should talk to him. You are dating him and not his friends. While it can seem safer to talk to friends instead of directly to him, if you love him it's important that you talk to him instead.
4. Trust. A relationship cannot survive without trust. If you don't feel you can trust him you two may not be a good fit.
First loves are either a blessing or a lesson. The idea of letting go is often very difficult because we want them to be a blessing instead of accepting they are a lesson. Sometimes they happen simply for you to learn and grow, sometimes they help us recognize later on what true love is. It's important to recognize that while relationships can be hard, they shouldn't always be hard. So if he doesn't treat you the way you feel he should, especially after talking to him, or you find yourself upset with him most of the time, the relationship may have run its course.
Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope." Try not to focus on keeping what you think you have now as it often hinders what God has in store for us in the future.
