What does it take to be happy?
Question: What does it take to be happy? And how can I be happy for other people?
Response: You raise a question that human beings have been seeking the answer for since we were created. How can we be happy? What makes us happy? Why is it that some people are just always happy, while others can’t seem to muster up enough happiness to get them through the morning? There are millions of theories and “answers” for this question out there, but the one I am going to focus on in this letter to you, is that YOU are in charge of how you feel, no one else is. Let me explain that a little better… As far as emotions are concerned, the only moment in time that actually matters is RIGHT THIS SECOND. What happened 5 minutes ago is already past and cannot be brought back (and so often that is a good thing), and what is going to happen in the future has not happened yet and is not guaranteed. Right now, right this very second, is all that really matters because right now is where you are at, and right now the emotions you feel are real, tangible, and are actively affecting you. How you choose to BE in this moment in time is entirely up to YOU. You can choose to allow the past to continue to have an effect on you, or you can choose to make yourself move past it and live “right now” to its fullest. You can choose to allow your fear of the future effect how you feel now, or you can choose to not allow it to make your “right now” miserable.
I’m not saying you should completely forget the past and pretend it didn’t exist; the past is an important tool to learn and grow from. What I’m saying here is to not let the past control you. If you allow it to govern your emotions, your mood, your temperament, and ultimately how you move through your day, then you have lost control of how you feel and you are allowing other people and past events to control the moment you are experiencing right now.
I’m also not saying don’t worry about the future. It is important to think about your future and work to set yourself up for a better one. But again, what I am saying is to NOT let the future control how you feel right now. It is normal to be a little anxious about what the future holds for you, but to let it control your mood, your temperament, and ultimately how you move through your day is not healthy.
What I am saying is that you are only guaranteed RIGHT NOW. And how you choose to spend right now is entirely up to you. It is a matter of telling yourself that you choose to enjoy this moment and that you won’t allow any other person, event, memory, or concern mess up the moment you have right now, because YOU are in control of this moment – not them. You can’t blame anyone else for how you feel because ultimately YOU are in charge of what you think and how you feel, not them. It is a matter of reframing your thoughts and your mind to think more positive thoughts rather than negative ones. It is catching yourself in a negative thought, stopping yourself, and replacing that thought with something more positive.
Like any bad habit it will take time to retrain your brain to think positively rather than negatively, and it will be like hard work at first. But if you stick with it, if you realize that these moments in which you are angry or upset are moments you can never get back, then the hard work will be worth it, and you’ll find yourself enjoying life a lot more. And the people around you will enjoy your company a lot more too. The way you spend the first 20 minutes of your day generally shapes how the rest of your day will go. If you wake up with a conscious effort to enjoy those first 20 minutes, you will notice a big change in the way the rest of your day develops. Spending that time asking God to help you replace your negative thoughts with positive ones and then acting on it could be the perfect way to get this move for change rolling. YOU are in control. No one else is. No one else can be. Only you can make yourself replace the negative train of thought with a positive one. Only you can take back full control of your life. God wants that for you and He is eagerly waiting to help you pick the positive thoughts that will steer you in the right direction.
