Does He Like Me?

Question: This guy and I have a class together and one day my sister and I went to a restaurant and he was there and he saw me and next time he saw me we talked about it. Then he asked me if I could go with him next Friday and he could pay, and so I told my friends. And then that Friday I walked into class and the whole class was talking about how he and I were going on a date and they all stopped when I walked in. And then I sat down and he said, “Just so you know, it’s not a date.” And so I said, “I know. I never said it was.” Then we stopped talking until lunch when he said, “Forget we ever had this conversation.” Then later we shared candy and he said he couldn’t come to the hang out.

Response: Thank you for writing in with your question. I’m so sorry that you had this weird experience. It completely makes sense why you’re confused about this boy’s true feelings about you at this point. It’s hard to say whether or not he likes you – I think that is something that the two of you need to have a conversation about. It can be really difficult to navigate relationships and dating at this age and time in life. Social pressures are extremely high, and often cloud the situation one way or another. It makes it hard to even know what you want or what is normal or what is right when so many people with their own opinions are weighing in on your personal life. The absolute best advice I can give you is to not let other people’s opinions or actions impact your truth. What I mean by that is that no matter what people say or how they act or talk about you, you should do what you think is right and be with who makes you happy. In this case, it sounds like the kids in the class might have had some influence on your friend and made him feel extremely self-conscious about the fact that he had asked you “out” – so to speak. Even if it wasn’t an official date, their teasing might have made it feel to him like he was a spectacle, and maybe he’s not ready for or doesn’t want all that attention. I suggest that you talk to him and just ask him if he’d still like to hang out or if he’s not interested. If it works for you two to hang out together, then you’ll be able to get a better idea of whether he likes you as more than a friend or not.