How Do I Tell My Cousins I Don't Want to Live Here?

Question: I don’t want to live with the people I’m with now, and I don’t know how to tell them. I just don’t want to hurt my little cousin’s feelings, but they told me they don’t want me here.

Response: Thank you for reaching out with your question. Living with other people can be hard and living with family can be even harder sometimes. Living with family is a whole other story because the old saying is true, “you can pick your friends but you can’t pick your family.” Whether you are close or not to your family members, family is still family and we love them no matter what. But sometimes it can be really hard to get along with them.

It can be hurtful to hear someone say to you that they don’t want to live with you. All the questions run through your head, “Is it something I said?” “Did I do something wrong” “Do my shoes stink?” These might be some of the thoughts that have run through your mind since they told you they don’t want you living with them anymore. I encourage you not to dwell on these negative thoughts. Most likely, it’s nothing personal. Coexisting can just be really hard sometimes. If the living situation for both parties involved is not the greatest anymore, it is time to have that hard conversation with your cousins. You can have this conversation and still be mindful of their feelings. Just show yourself and your desires and wishes respect as well. Your feelings are valid.

Firstly, pray to God and ask for His guidance and wisdom as to how to go about the conversation. Ask Him to guide your thoughts and that His will be done during this time. Listen to Him and what He has to say to you before you talk with your cousins. By talking to God first, it will help set a firm foundation for the flow of conversation. 

Next, find a neutral safe space to have the conversation. If you have a neutral space such as a coffee shop or restaurant, then it could make the conversation easier to have rather than at the home. If your cousins are also religious, pray with them before the conversation too, you can never have too much prayer! 

Finally, plan out what you want to say and how they might possibly respond. It is good to go in with a game plan so you have at least thought through how the conversation might go.. Of course, we cannot predict the future, but it's still a good idea to try and plan what they may say in response to your need to move out. Having this game plan for the conversation will help you feel better prepared and the conversation to be more successful.

I pray that God will continue to guide you and will be there for your conversation with your cousins. It might be awkward and uncomfortable but with God’s guidance and presence, your mind can be at ease during the conversation. 

“Whenever they hand you over for trial, do not worry about how to speak or what to say, for what you should say will be given to you at that time, for it is not you speaking, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you.” Matthew 10:19

Sending loads of love and prayers your way!

G2G Mentor