I want to get baptized, but I know my mom wouldn't approve.
Question: Hello. I am a freshman in college. This is the first time I’ve gotten to be away from my parents and their influence. This is the first time I’ve had a bit of control over my spiritual life. My mom for a while has been urging me to get baptized. I was raised Church of Christ. Sometimes I would visit different friends churches. They were baptist and methodist. My mom believes you can’t get to heaven if you go to a denominational church and that churches shouldn’t have instruments, but often, when I visited those churches, I felt like things were clicking. I could see why you needed a relationship with God, I could see why I needed to accept God’s invitation. I got to college and decided to not go to a Church of Christ like I had back home. I still go to a non-denominational church but it uses instruments. My parents came to visit and asked if I wanted to go to church with them. I told them I wanted to go to my church, and they were welcome to come. My mom said she wouldn’t step foot in the church I attend. I’m struggling right now. I want to get baptized at the church I attend right now, but I also know my mom wouldn’t approve. I know that it’s my spiritual life and I should take responsibility for my relationship with God, but I’m also scared about what it will do to my relationship with my mom. Church is a subject that I don’t like speaking about with her because I know she doesn’t agree with my choices, but I’ve never felt more inclined to take the steps in forming a relationship with God than I have since going to the church I attend now. I want to be baptized, but I just don’t know what to do if she’s not going to support my choice.
Response: Thank you for sharing this very vulnerable part of your life. I greatly commend you for having the courage to share and the desire to seek and know God for yourself. Truly, your desire to go deeper and further in your knowledge of Him is the greatest decision you could ever make. It is the boldest and most rewarding path that you will ever walk. And the most sacred relationship you’ll ever treasure. This choice for Christ will be the greatest joy of your life.
The truth is, the beauty in who we are comes together when we decide to unlearn all that’s been forced or placed upon us and relearn God’s true nature and character. It’s such a blessing to begin this personal journey with Him. An adventure where you allow God to reveal Himself to you - where you can rest in obedience when you give Him permission to impart His words into your heart so you can know yourself, understand others, and walk in His plans for you.
Here are some suggestions on how you can have the conversation about your faith journey with your parents:
Discuss with your parents about your commitment to journeying with God in personal and authentic ways.
I know it sounds easier said than done but it’s possible. Trust me, I’ve been where you are so I know the pull that the Spirit has on your heart right now. I know the urge to abandon what you’ve done for so long and truly find and experience the good news of Jesus Christ. I understand the need to see the bigger picture. So, it’s critical that you have this conversation with your parents.
Accept that it’s okay if they don't agree with you.
Yes, it is. Whether your Mom is right or wrong - or her way is righteous or not - you must be led to the truth for yourself. You must develop that relationship with God so you can hear and know His voice and thus discern what is true and holy in His sight. God doesn't want you to know Him merely from what has been taught to you. He desires for you to discover Him for yourself. He desires for you to look to Him and for truth to be revealed as you are nurtured in His love through life experiences. It has to be a personal acceptance to His invitation in your heart.
When you speak with your parents, it will be hard and it might even be disheartening. That is okay too.
Remember you can be respectful AND assertive. Be sure to share that you value their wisdom and knowledge. Listen carefully to what they share. Listen not to respond but so you can investigate and reflect for yourself. It’s important that you attentively listen and not argue. Then, thank them for sharing their insights, wisdom and concerns.
Lastly, be confident yet gentle in what’s pulling your heart.
Share with your parents why your desire to be baptized. Let them know that now you are placing your life in the hands of Maker. Let them know that you are planting yourself in the presence of God so you can discover truth and experience the joy of the Gospel. Guide them into the realization that you are a mature, respectable and responsible young woman whom they’ve raised to make good choices and will continue to walk in the guidance and values they’ve instilled in you.
Inform them that this decision is opening the door to many opportunities to experience God and being guided in your life by His wisdom and light. Trust the move of the Spirit is your heart and show your parents that this movement is of fervent sincerity and commitment.
Be prepared for objections.
Your parents will likely share countless reasons for objections and ask you many questions. They might even be hurt or disappointed, but try not to get defensive at their objections. Let them know and see the urgency of heaven’s glory in your heart. Let them know that now is the time and never has there been a more critical time. You can do this!
Continue to seek and reflect upon Him.
I believe God never turns His back on a sincere believer. He will never leave you to fend for yourself through this period of heart work. Yes, heart work. While your parents may need space to process and adjust to your decision, God doesn’t need time. He is ready to reveal His truth and goodness to you. As you work through this challenge with your parents, continue to study God’s Word. I encourage you to continue to think and reflect further and deeper on the love, power and grace of God. Keep going back to the source of all your knowledge and strength. Trust that the Holy Spirit will guide you in your discussion with your parents and your decision to walk personally and deeply with Him.
Assume an open and humble heart.
As we walk with God we increase in knowledge and understanding. Accepting Christ means to walk in all that He’s taught and shared with us. That is, the doctrines and beliefs that are to nurture, protect, secure and permeate our lives. Live in that space of humbleness and acceptance. Invite the Holy Spirit to reveal truth as you pursue this beautiful picture of God. Remember, the Bible is the only sure and true source of that truth.
As you study and pray the Holy Spirit will lead you to a fuller understanding of Bible truth. It will fundamentally shift much or all of what you thought you knew or assumed to be true. Lean into that truth. Investigate with a sincere heart. Reflect with earnestness. In true obedience God will lead you where you can look upon a true expression of His infinite love, grace, and wisdom.
Pray about this.
Ask the Holy Spirit to give you the words to say, the attitude to demonstrate and the courage you need to talk with your parents. Pray before, during and after your conversation. This will be hard, but you can do it. God is in this with you! He cares about your heart and your desire to grow and develop in His love. Let Him lead in your conversation with your parents, and your decisions about how and where you serve Him. Trust Him to guide you into a full understanding of His truth and His love to transform.
Be encouraged. You can do this! You already began this courageous journey by desiring to want more of Jesus. I’m moved to tears by your bold stance for Jesus. I admire your faith and your love for Him. So, trust His work in your heart. Trust that this is the start to an abiding relationship. One that will stand the test of time. One that will lead you beyond time itself.
G2G Mentor
