Is Marriage Really Just a Piece of Paper?
Message: I am curious about how the Word of God defines marriage. I understand that it is between a man and a woman, and that the two will become one flesh, but what signifies a marriage? Is it declaring your love and commitment to one another before God? I find it difficult to believe that a piece of paper provided to you by the government would ultimately define marriage in God's eyes. What is the Biblical definition of marriage?
Response: Thank you for reaching out with your question. Marriage is such a beautiful gift that God made and has designed specifically for us. It is true, a piece of paper full of legal jargon lets the government know you made this commitment, but what does God say? How does He truly view marriage? Does he need a piece of paper too? These are all good questions, and I’ll do my best to answer them.
For the government, they require the legal document so that they know who is getting married, that the people aren’t related or otherwise incompatible, if one person is changing their name, and to help the individual that does change their name be able to update their legal documents. But other than that, they really don’t care. There is so much more to marriage than just the piece of paper. Sometimes if we look at it as just this legal commitment, it can make marriage seem way less special than what God intended. They way that God designed marriage, and what He defines it as is way more complex and involved than a piece of paper with both your names on it.
The very first marriage recorded in the Bible was between Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. Adam was lonely and God did not want him to be lonely, for all the other creatures had a companion but him. So God created Eve from a rib from Adam which is pretty cool. Then in Genesis 2:24 it says “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and unites with his wife, and they become a new family.” So when the day comes for marriage and making that commitment, it is something that God designed and created first with Adam and Eve, and we can draw from that example.
The next thing about God’s definition of marriage that is awesome to know is that marriage is supposed to be a representation of the relationship between Jesus and the Church. In the New Testament there are references of Jesus caring for His church and this can be translated as Jesus being the groom and the church His bride. (Ephesians 5:31-32). So in God’s eyes, a marriage should consist of a husband who loves his bride as Christ loves His church – willing to give everything up just to save her, loves her without condition or question and in spite of her sins, etc. The reverse is also true. The wife should look to the husband and want to have that deep, personal relationship with him just as the church (God’s people) has with Him.
It also goes without saying that any relationship, but especially marriage, will thrive ONLY if Christ is at the center. Just as God could not love the church and redeem us without our sins being atoned for at the cross (or in the old testament with sacrifices), husbands cannot properly love and forgive the flaws they see in their wives (and wives their husbands) if Christ Jesus is not there in the middle of them bridging that gap. It says in Ecclesiastes 4:12 “Although an assailant may overpower one person, two can withstand him. Moreover, a three-stranded cord is not quickly broken.” That cord concept holds true in a marriage. One strand represents the husband, the other the wife, and the third is Christ. Marriage can and should be a strong, three stranded cord, a covenant between husband and wife and Christ, and a beautiful way to declare your love for your significant other.
Marriage in God’s eyes is way more than some legal document, it is a gift that He designed and created for us to enjoy! God has given us some amazing gifts, from the gift of His son Jesus dying on the cross for our sins, to the gift of marriage and the unity it brings with another person and with Christ. Christ sees marriage as a design that He made with love and care and one which He wants us to understand and embrace in our lives. I pray that God continues to bless your life and your studies of His word, and thank you again for writing in!
