What Should I Do?

Question: I’m a high school student and used to score good but don’t know why I’m getting low grades now and I believe that I’m not good enough to achieve anything in my life. I help others and the more I help, the worse I feel about myself. I cry at the thought of what will my parents think when they see their child’s scores go down but not up. I try to brush off all the negative thoughts immediately but there are always some constant reminders. I’m happy for my friends and their success but it also really hurts because I’m not able to achieve it.
Another thing that hits hard is that people come to me whenever they feel down, not knowing that I might feel the same way. I don’t share my feelings with them at the time because I don’t want to make them feel uncomfortable or even more discouraged.
Up until now (before exams) I was doing fine. I was happy and was able to brush off the fact that soon I’ll be independent and have to take on lots of responsibilities. I was trying real hard to change myself to be more disciplined in my studies and other areas, and it was going pretty well. But I feel like I just can’t do it anymore. Like I’ll be left behind forever with nothing but guilt, grief, and disappointment. Would you lend me a hand and tell me it’s okay to make mistakes, and hug me and tell me that it isn’t my fault, and that I can’t meet everyone’s expectations at once.
I’ve told this to many of my friends but never gotten it said back to me.

Response: The pressure of grades and achieving a high standard on exams can be both mentally and physically exhausting. I want you to know that you are absolutely not alone! Even your friends come to you for support with the same struggle. In that sense you can take comfort in knowing that you are not alone in the struggle of high school and all the pressures that come with it. 

God also sees your struggle and He knows that you are strong enough to face these challenges. It is okay to not be the perfect “A” student, or valedictorian or your class. If you are truly doing your best work and trying your hardest, reaching out to your teachers and seeking their advice, then you are doing what you can do. Your parents should see that you are putting forth the effort to make the grade. But even if they fail to appreciate your effort, it's important that you remember to not burn yourself out by putting crazy amounts of pressure on yourself – or accepting that pressure from outside sources such as your parents. Your GPA is not the most important thing in the world. While it is a measure of your academics compared to your peers, the most important measure is that of you against yourself. If you have grown, have learned, have improved, and have put forth your best effort, then you have succeeded.

I am glad to hear that your friends are able to trust you and come to you in their time of need. With this level of trust, you can confide in them as well that you are feeling the stresses of all the pending exams, projects and papers. Having someone that you can talk to about these things will help alleviate some of the stress that you are feeling. Talking to God is a wonderful idea too because He listens to you with an open mind and will help guide you through these difficult times. Pray and ask Him to send someone you feel comfortable with to talk to about these things, and that He will give you the strength, confidence, and courage to make it through.

I’m sending you a virtual big ol’ bear hug and I want you know that it's going to be alright. Gods got you and I am glad that you reached out here too. We aren’t meant to do everything perfect 24/7 and it's totally okay to make mistakes. Mistakes are great opportunities to learn from and grow from. Without them, I’m not sure there would be much learning at all! High school is a big part of growing up and learning new responsibilities and even time management skills. So it’s okay to feel like the sky is falling at times because let's be honest here, it probably is half the time! But with God at your side, you can stand confidently knowing that you are not and will never be alone.

Talk to your parents and express to them your concerns about the pressures of high school. You may be surprised, and they may have some sage advice to give you. Talk with your friends too because they are going through the same things you are at the same time and can be a great support system. You are friends for a reason and you can be open with them without being a burden - they are there for you. 

Praying for you to do well and succeed in both school and life. You got this girly! Sending a big hug your way :)

G2G Mentor