I Let Him Go; Did I Make a Mistake?
Message: Over the past 3 weeks, I've been talking to this really amazing guy I met online. He's intelligent, kind, smart, and well- established. We met in person for the first time yesterday and had a really great time. The reason I'm writing is because though he comes from a religious background and sees the value in the Bible and its stories, he no longer believes in the supernatural. Yesterday, he asked me about my beliefs and whether or not I would be okay entering into a long term relationship with someone who has the beliefs he does (as he's more serious right now and looking for someone he can explore the ideas of marriage with). I didn't think he liked me this much so I was caught a bit off guard-- even more so when I noticed I liked him a lot too. It was hard, but I told him that I would need someone in my life who was willing to learn more about my religion and become invested in it. He was very kind and respectful and said that he doesn't see himself getting to that point anytime soon, so we decided not to continue our interactions any longer so that it doesn't become more painful to part. Even though deep down I know I made the right decision, part of me can't help thinking I made a mistake. I've never met a guy of his caliber and I guess I'm just feeling discouraged.
Response: First of all, I want to say how proud of you I am. It's not easy to stand firm in our beliefs, especially when what is in front of us seems like a good thing. This decision was a defining moment for you. While it hurts right now, one day you will be able to look back and confidently know that you made the right choice. Doubting yourself is normal, and it’s okay to have these feelings. But rest assured, choosing God and keeping him first in all aspects of your life is the best possible decision you can make.
"A (wo)man who endures trials is blessed, because when (s)he passes the test (s)he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him." James 1:12
This verse tells us a few things. Being a committed follower of Christ is not without its trials, but we are assured in the very same passage that God is faithful to those who hold firm in their commitments to Him.
It can be hard to wrap our minds around the idea that there may be someone better for us when someone seemingly great is right in front of us. However, I assure you, the person God wants you to end up with will think that the Bible is more than just stories. They will understand that it is the greatest love story ever written – from God to His people- and that his relationship with God is absolutely essential. It will define this man. His entire identity will be in Christ, in the best possible way. He will be rooted in goodness, kindness, gentleness, and self-control. He will be perfectly imperfect, and you’ll know him when you find him. I encourage you to take the things you liked about this man to God. Tell Him what you desire, and ask Him to bring such a person into your life.
These kinds of situations are never easy, but you should be proud that you held firm in your beliefs. Additionally, you were an amazing witness to this gentleman. This is not a situation he will soon forget. It might even provide the Holy Spirit an opportunity to stir his heart to return to God. All in all, this was undoubtedly a difficult situation, but please be confident and know that you made the right choice.
