When Will the Hurt Stop?
Message: My heart aches every day. I’m so confused as to why my chest feels so heavy. It’s like no matter how positive my environment is I still feel a deep feeling in my chest and a very painful hurt. I cry every day. I just want it to go away.
Response: I'm so sorry that you are going through this. Life has a way of becoming overwhelming sometimes, and I want you to know that what you're experiencing is in no way because you are weak or that somethings wrong with you. This is a moment in your life that may feel like there’s no end in sight, but with time it will pass.
Now you're probably thinking, "Yea right, she has no idea what I'm going through." And you're right. Every person’s struggle is different and no one can pretend to know or understand the circumstances that have brought you to this point. However, through God's help and investing in our own mental health, we can be confident that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel.
It sounds like you may be dealing with some symptoms of anxiety and/or depression. However, the only way to know for sure is to talk with a therapist. It can be so helpful to have someone to talk to. Many counselors even offer online therapy.
It may not be possible for you to speak to someone right away, so in the meantime there are other things you can do to begin the process of understanding what’s happening. Start by asking yourself a few questions:
When did you first notice this feeling? It may not be easy to pin point but take your time and work backwards. If you find a time period you may be able to nail down an event or trigger that causes you to feel this way. What makes this feeling better or worse? Do you feel worse after being on social media? Do you feel better after talking to someone? Does petting your dog make you forget about the feeling completely, even if just for a few minutes? Do you feel worse after having caffeine? Monitoring even the slightest changes may help you stay away from what causes the negative feelings.
Asking these questions may not be easy, and having the answers to them may not help on their own. However these answers can help you begin working through the cause as well as personalize some of the healthy habits you begin to establish.
This heaviness you feel may feel immobilizing so be patient with yourself as you try some of the following healthy habits.
1. Mental health and physical health are so closely intertwined. Do your best to eat healthy, get fresh air, drink lots of water, and the right amount of sleep (7-8 hours is recommended but some people do better with less/more)
2. It may sound silly but it’s important that you take a few moments out of the day to think on something positive. It may not be easy, but spending even a few minutes a day dwelling on a positive quote, actively listening to a happy song, or listing 3 things you are grateful for can help rewire your brain to more easily recognize positive things.
3. Do your best to avoid news and social media. It's so easy to get stuck in a refresh loop and not even realize the stress we're causing ourselves by seeing varying negativity over and over again.
4. Talk with someone you trust. Even if it’s not about what you're experiencing, talking with someone who's company you enjoy can help put you in a better mood.
Most importantly, take it one day at a time. Mental health is no different than physical health. Sometimes the wound heels quickly and things are normal again. Other times it takes longer to heal. Claim the promises that are listed in scripture:
“Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” Matthew 11:28-30
