How Do I Handle Jealousy?
Message: A lot of people I know have recently been getting engaged/married, or in new relationships. I am happy for my friends, but I hate admitting that I have some jealousy towards the situation. I am 21 but I have never dated, even though I am interested. It just seems like no one is interested in me. Is there something wrong with me? How might I be able to handle the jealousy?
Response: First off, thank you for bringing this up because I think this is a common feeling for many young women, and it’s not talked about often enough. Being jealous of the professional, personal, or other types of good things happening in the lives of our peers is so common, and unfortunately almost a part of our (sinful) human nature. If you have been guilty of jealously, ask God for forgiveness, and if possible, make it right with the person. Tomorrow is not guaranteed, so make the most of today. God loves you, He has plans for you, and He will not allow these negative feelings to separate you from His arms.
My first piece of advice to you regarding guys would be to seek God first, and everything else will fall into place. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you, dear girl. Please know that you are so loved, and so worthy. You are a daughter of the King, and that is where your identity rests, your self-worth lies, and your value is defined. That being said, your worth in God and your desire to find a partner are not mutually exclusive. It is because you know your worth is in God that you know you are ready to confidently look for a partner who will join you in reflecting the character of God to a world who sees mostly brokenness. I want you to really remember this so I’m going to repeat myself. If you truly know your worth is in your relationship with God, then you are in a great place to open yourself up to meeting guys!
Don’t let other people’s stages in life dictate what your journey should look like. Everyone’s timing is different. Your friends might be in a place that you aren’t yet, a different place than you, and there are those who are nowhere near where you are. Each of our life journeys is unique, and that’s okay. I want you to know that there is nothing wrong with you just because you are 21 and haven’t ever dated. Just because a man hasn’t chosen you yet does not mean you’re unworthy of love, or that there’s anything wrong with you. In fact, you’re at a great age to start a relationship – you’ve seen enough of the world and of the kinds of people in it that you’re probably not under false pretenses of what real relationships looks like. Your life and your future are between you and God. If you’ve got your heart set on finding that special someone at this point in your life, I’d encourage you to lay that at God’s feet. God will work it out for you. “The Lord will fight for you; you need only be still” (Exodus 14:14).
Ultimately, you’ve got to rest in the fact that God has a plan for you, and He will make it known to you if you ask Him to. He has a wonderful future and life’s work for you. “For I know the plans I have for you," says the LORD. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope” (Jeremiah 29:11). Let God lead.
