How Do I Escape My Toxic Relationship?
Question: There’s this guy that I was talking to and I discovered how toxic he can be in relationships, and the type of person he is when you leave him, all through his ex exposing him on Instagram. I also found out he told people we hooked up, when we haven’t done anything physically at all. I want to end things, but I feel I may have led him on and he’s very clingy and obsessive over me. I just need help knowing how to end all this drama.
Response: I’m so sorry to hear that you’re in this situation. It’s important to reach out for help and advice when you find yourself stuck, and I commend you for doing so. I’m glad you felt safe and confident to ask your question here. I’ll do my best to help you think through the next steps and get back to a healthy place.
It’s a good sign that you are recognizing these traits now rather than a couple of months/years into the relationship. Realizing that someone has toxic traits and displays harmful behavior patterns is an important step in testing out the waters at the beginning of a relationship. Seeing these things now allows you the opportunity to get out of the negative environment before getting any more entangled in things.
Just from the small amount of information you have shared here, I see several red flags. First of all, if he is unkind when a relationship ends, it demonstrates potentially abusive and narcissistic tendencies that should not be ignored. Lying to other people and misrepresenting the extent of your relationship is dishonest and disrespectful to you and your dignity. Being clingy and obsessive is also a big red flag. Regardless of the cause, this type of controlling behavior this early on into the relationship is a very bad sign and can be an indication of abusive tendencies that could show up down the road.
Your desire to end the relationship is a good instinct, and in my opinion the right call. If you do not feel safe to do so alone, make sure you end things in a public space where he will not have an opportunity to escalate things or become violent. If at any point you are afraid for your safety, please contact the domestic violence hotline for help: https://www.thehotline.org/, 1.800.799-7233, or text START to 88788.
I’ll be praying for you! Please reach out any time.
- G2G Mentor
