How Do I Pursue My Own Spirituality When My Parents Don't Agree?
Question: I already got baptized because I had the desire to follow Jesus. But my parents are not being supportive of it because they raised me catholic and I got baptized as a baby and confirmed in the catholic church. I got confirmed but I did not realize what it really meant at that point in my life. Maybe I was too young to understand it. Then, I went to college and started to get to know more about the Bible and I liked it a lot. Then I decided to get baptized and that was totally against what my parents said because they are scared that I am going to get away from the family just because I got baptized somewhere outside the catholic church. It is unfortunate because I love them, but they are upset and they think they failed as parents because I did not stay strong in my catholic faith. I believe that things are not going to change by a lot, I still like to go to mass with them and pray with them but because that is a family thing and that is the only time I get to praise the Lord with them. But they still think I am doing wrong by getting baptized and following my own faith journey.
Response: Congratulations on being baptized! This is a big occasion for you and should be celebrated with all of the joy! Sending you a big virtual hug right now. I’m so sorry that your parents are not supportive. This is not uncommon among particularly religious parents whose children choose a different faith than they were raised with. Believe it or not, your parents’ disapproval is coming from a good place. They truly believe in the truth of their religion, and so seeing you choose something else is frightening to them. Try not to allow the familial guilt that is no doubt being showered upon you right now to sway your convictions. Rather, see this as an opportunity to share truth and love with them someday. Study and learn all you can about the truths found in the Bible, and prepare to present them should the time ever arise that you are questioned about your faith. Pray daily that God would open their eyes and soften their hearts to hear His truth. You are not responsible for their faith, just as they are not responsible for yours. But you can be a living testimony to the goodness of God and the light, hope, and wholeness that is found when His truth is learned, accepted, and incorporated into daily life. The Holy spirit will take care of the rest.
When we get baptized, we sometimes think that “Okay I’m covered, life is going to be easy peasy lemon squeezy” but in reality, the struggle has just only begun. The devil is now going to be working harder than ever to try and make you feel conflicted and confused about the decision that you have made. Remember, the devil is a liar. God is in control and you have dedicated your life to Jesus and have made that decision public. Stay firm in your faith and trust in the Lord with all your heart.
Differences in faith can be hard for families to go through, yet it is something that so many families are faced with. In their own way, your family is telling you they love you and want the best for you. It may be awkward for the next little while because you all do not see eye to eye with each other anymore in regards to religion. But it will all be okay in time, and God has you covered. Stay strong in your new faith journey, continue to seek the truth and knowledge, but still let your parents know that you love them and will be present with them. Just because you are of different faiths now does not mean you cannot gather together for important life events and traditions/family time. Let them know that they have not failed as parents and that you are still their child who loves them very much. It might not do a lot to change the way they feel, but you are not responsible for helping them feel comfortable. You are, as you said, on your own journey. It is possible to be respectful and loving, and just agree to disagree. I pray that your family will be able to see that as well.
Continue to ask God for strength and wisdom during this transition in your life and theirs. Your life is changing now just as much as theirs and prayer will be key to your success. Life will always have curve balls thrown your way especially now with your decision of baptism. Just remember that God provides and will always provide. Continue to keep the faith, express your love to your parents, and live your new life in Christ.
G2G Mentor
