How Should I Act?
Question: I recently found out that one of my friends is bi. She asked me if I had a problem with it and I told her that I didn’t really agree with it but we can still be friends. Did I handle the situation right? Also, how do I continue a friendship with her without it being awkward. Should I be using this as a witnessing opportunity?
Response: I am glad to hear that you are good friends with her and that she felt safe enough to be genuine about what she is feeling and going through. That means that you are a very trustworthy person and that she respects you and what you think. Just like you are feeling a range of emotions and have probably a thousand questions running through your mind, so does she. She will need you now more than ever during this next step in her life.
Coming out is a big deal for LGBTQ+ teens and it is important for them to have a good support system. I am glad that you gave an honest answer back about how you felt about her being bi. It is hard to know what to say, especially if you believe what the Bible teaches: that marriage and sex should be between a man and a woman. While you two may have different beliefs, you can ABSOLUTELY still be her friend and show love and compassion to her. That is what Jesus would do. Jesus still loves your friend, nothing has changed. She is and will forever be His child. We are commanded to love one another. So do just that! You’re on a good track by being honest and firm in your convictions, but still accepting and loving her for who she is.
If she has only come out to you or a few trusted people in her life, it is important to respect her and who she wants to know this information. Some teens can be very depressed or even suicidal during these times and so it is important to be a good support system first and foremost. If you are asked some time down the road and you feel the timing is right to share, then you can possibly explain your beliefs by saying something like “I believe sex is designed by God for marriage between a man and a woman. I want to be a great friend to all my LGBTQ+ (and straight) friends. I do not judge my friends. I love and accept you as you are. I hope you’ll love and accept me, too, even when we believe differently.”
It could also be helpful for you to talk to someone about this whole thing. While you aren’t the one who is dealing with being bi, having a friend in this position is a significant change in your life and you deserve support as well. You can say to your youth pastor (without giving your friend’s name), “One of my friends came out to me, and I need help processing how I feel.” This way you can express yourself and what you're feeling without betraying your friends' trust and confidentiality.
Ask God for guidance and compassion to share with your friend and continue to be a good support system and friend for her.
All the love and prayers for you and your friend!
G2G Mentor
