I am going through the worst times of my life...
Question: I’m going through the worst times of my life. I’ve lost both parents, recently my mom. I have no friends really, but I am married. I feel isolated and depressed. If someone can please reach out to me as I have an older sibling who is abusive mentally, emotionally, and financially. I could really use some help. Thank you.
Response: Thank you for reaching out here with your question. It takes a lot of courage to take this step and ask for help, and I commend you for doing so. I’m so sorry to hear that you have lost your parents, and that you are struggling with depression. The abuse you are facing from your older sibling sounds like it is contributing to these feelings, and is causing you to feel more and more alone/hopeless. I’m glad to hear that you are married and have someone to share your life with, but I know that even a relationship as close as husband-wife doesn’t hold the same space, isn’t the same level of connection as we feel with our parents. I want you to know that you are not alone.
The road to healing from a loss like you have experienced is often long, and it’s better if walked with a friend. If you haven’t already, I recommend that you reach out to a grief counselor right away. Here is a link to get the process started: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/christian. The experience you are going through is very real, very hard, and you deserve to have professional help as you process this loss and find the light at the end of this tunnel.
In addition to helping you with the loss of your parents and the hopelessness that is making you feel depressed, a therapist can give you helpful resources to deal with this situation with your abusive sibling. They can connect you with crisis agencies that specialize in helping victims escape abuse, and can give you advice on how to keep yourself safe in the meantime.
If you feel you’re in immediate danger I urge you to contact the police. I know there’s an incredible amount of fear and uncertainty with calling the authorities but you deserve to live a life free of fear and danger. You deserve to be treated with the utmost value and respect at all times. Help is available for free on the National Domestic Violence Hotline. You can talk to someone right this second. They can help you make sense of your situation, give you advice on how to navigate the issues with your partner, and develop a safety plan while you’re experiencing the abuse and if you plan to leave. It’s very confidential and you can find immediate support here. The National Domestic Violence Hotline phone number is 800-799-7233 and their website is https://www.thehotline.org. Again, it is safe, confidential and secure.
I’ll be sending all the prayers your way as you take these next steps! Remember, there is light at the end of this tunnel.
G2G Mentor
