I'm overwhelmed in my relationship.

Message: I don’t even know how to explain it, but my boyfriend has deep emotional issues. I’m super patient and working through it, but yesterday we got in a fight and sometimes I feel like I don’t get a chance to be overwhelmed but I am overwhelmed and now I’m sad but we already worked through it so I don’t know what to even tell him. He’s a super good guy and I want him to be more confident in himself, in our relationship, in life. I want to feel like I matter to him.

Response: I’m so sorry to hear that you are feeling this way. Relationships are confusing. I hope you know that you’re not alone in your struggle. I’m glad that you reached out, and I’ll do my best to help you think through these issues.

First off, I want to commend you for being patient with your partner. It shows a great deal of maturity that you are aiming to put yourself aside and be there for your partner when he needs your support. It sounds like you might want to examine the balance though. It’s important that it’s not always one-sided. You have needs as well, and you deserve to be in a relationship with someone who prioritizes you in the same way that you prioritize them. In other words, if both people in the relationship are equally selfless, then their partner will always feel that their needs are being met.

Secondly, I hear you saying that you’re feeling overwhelmed. For many of us, this feeling of being overwhelmed, unsure how to explain ourselves, but still showing up every day and giving our absolute all to the person we love becomes the norm. You’re right though; it shouldn’t be this way. You absolutely deserve to feel loved, and like you matter – because you do! I want to suggest that you have an open and honest conversation with your boyfriend about how you are feeling. If you are feeling overwhelmed and sad, then you two haven’t “worked through it.” Your feelings are valid and deserve to be addressed just as much as his do.

You’re the daughter of a King, and God has a man in mind for you who will treat you the way that you deserve - you’ll never have to wonder if you’re important to him. It’s up to you to determine, through prayer, if your boyfriend is God’s choice for you. I’m praying for you as you work through this decision!